For Memorial Day...

I stand here before you with the nieces you'll never know, the sister-in-law pregnant with your first nephew. Behind us are the sister born nine months after you left and her fiancé. And then there are your parents that loved you so dearly in your short time with us. I'm sorry that I don't make it up here as often as I should. I know you heard me when I leaned toward my oldest daughter and said, "No matter how angry you may get with your sister or brother, always remember to never wish them dead. You never want to know the pain of not having them around."

 

I stand here before you, having only known both of you briefly. I have only memories of you, grandfather, sitting in your black leather chair and looking like, as I would discover later in life, R. Crumb. I wish I had the chance to speak with you as an adult. There are so many questions I would ask you about the family and your WWII experiences. I remember you, grandmother, giving me diet dr. pepper for breakfast and telling me not to tell my parents, and it would be my treat and our secret.

 

I stand before you, my maternal grandparents, the relatives I knew the best. My grandpa, the man who rarely smiled or spoke but frequently reminded me, "Don't run through the house, goddammit." Yet in every picture I see of you, I find the little smirk that shows the true happiness you kept from us. If you were with us now, I'd crack through that gruff exterior.

And Grandma, my dearest friend, you always looked after me and loved me unconditionally. You took me in when I needed to get away, you listened to me and told me things that no one else would listen to you say. It's you that I miss the most today. I wish that you could be here to meet my family.

 

And to everyone else that has gone before me, whether friend or relative, I thank you for all the memories.

 

Soonthorn's New Adventure

For all the LA readers, you need to go check out my father-in-law's new restaurant in Glendale. The name of the restaurant is Thai Rama. Tell him Jeff sent you.
The address is:
1100 N. Pacific Ave., Glendale, CA 91202

I need everyone to go try it and let me know what they think as it may be a while before I get back to LA to try it myself.

Thank you!

Top 5 Songs at Noon...

"Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1" - The Flaming Lips
"Fired" - Ben Folds
"Jumbo" - Underworld
"Theme from the Bottom" - Phish
"Wave of Mutilation" - The Pixies

It's the the day before a holiday weekend and that means i care very little for work right now. Most of my clients are out today or leaving early anyway. It's all about pretending to be busy for my bosses. Speaking of bosses...I'm going to post a picture recent picture of my boss. And seriously, this is my boss, not a joke.

Getting Crazy with the Switches...

A new "temporary" look for the site as I work on my new one. If you're having trouble reading anything, my colorblind friends, please let me know so I can adjust the colors.

 

I'm also going to try out a few new things on the site, so keep your eyes out for them.

 

Thanks for reading, now get back to work.

 

 

In Response to Otto...

To understand this post, you must read Otto's post: Comics: The Elephant in the Room, or The Real Reason American Comics are Failing.

 

A quick history on my connection to comic books: I started on comics as a young lad, thanks to Otto. I collected for quite a few years, stopping in junior high due to the rising cost and my desire to spend my money on all things music. The world of comics was being flooded with Liefeld clones and suddenly it seemed as if every comic character had tiny feet, 5 feet shoulders and impossible muscle detail. I stayed away for many years until Otto reintroduced me in 1998. After we moved to LA, i religiously read the comics he picked up each week that I was interested in. Trips to Comic Con prompted me to start my Completist phase. I scoured the cheap bins to fill the holes in my existing collection. I continued to read Otto's comics until we parted ways and married our wives. Now, I read what I can of Bruce's and look for great deals on trade paperbacks.

 

If you look up geek, dork and nerd in the dictionary, you find that all three have similar definitions of people who are single-minded, stupid, foolish and socially inept. Whereas, some CB readers might fit under socially inept, I have met very few who are stupid or foolish. In fact, I have met far more sports fans that fit under those definitions that comic book fans. Am I being unfair?

 

I've been dubbed all three by my non-CB friends. Those that think because in the past I have enjoyed collecting toys or comic books, liked soccer and hockey and didn't give a rat's ass about football or basketball, that I must be one of the above. So be it. That's their opinion and I'm not going to change my ways to hope my friends will think higher of me.

 

As to decrease in CB awareness, I think a lot of that can be blamed on three words that moved rapidly from obscurity to mainstream over the past 20 years. Those three words: Nintendo, Playstation and Sega. The children of today, with their short attention spans and need for fast action, have found satisfaction in the heroes and storylines of Final Fantasy instead of the static glossy or newsprint issues of the Fantastic Four. Do video games based on CBs sell well, hell yes!

 

On a positive note for comics, I was flipping through all the Sunday morning programming this weekend and what did I find...Joe Quesada and J. Michael Straczynski talking about Spiderman on a children's news program. They were interviewing the youth of today who raved on and on about Spiderman and comic books and I smiled thinking there was hope for the industry.

Top 5 Worst Childhood Drinks...

A conversation at the vending machine sparked this top 5 list in my head.  Here are my picks for five childhood drinks I couldn't bring myself to ever drink again. Chime in with your own:

 

#5. Jolt Soda - Double the caffeine, double the sugar, and double the horrible twitchy spasms as you choked this crap down to look cool in front of your friends.

#4. Generic Soda - The kind you got after little league games from the cheap bastards.

#3. Kraut Juice - An early teen's dare to see who could drink the most cans. I believe i placed in the top three.

#2. The "Magic" Potion - Concoctions that my friends and i would make by mixing nearly every ingredient in the kitchen. The results were know to kill plants and small animals when disposed of outside.

#1. Suicides - As much as I am curious to try one of these again, I'm afraid to. In my mind, they were great and I know that trying them now would prove them to be simply awful. (However, if you ever work in a restaurant and run out of Cherry Coke, mix Coke with Mr. Pibb and the customer will never know the difference).

Ten Things to Work On: #7

On my top ten list of things to work on, #7 is being clean-shaven for work. I'm the facial hair Homer Simpson of my office, which isn't saying much as there are only two men and 18 girls. Still, I'm the one who inevitably has stubble on a daily basis. I've been known to shave Monday morning and then use a beard trimmer one or two other days of the week. It's a curse that my wanton teenage desires brought upon myself. The worse part about it is that my little girl won't give me kisses on the cheek because of it.

 

When I was a young lad, i had a plastic razor set that I used to shave with while my father shaved. He would put shaving cream, Barbasol I believe, on my face and teach me the proper way to shave. As I grew older, his advancement to the electric razor wore off on me and with my allowance I purchased a little black toy electric razor. When pressed to the face, it made a buzzing sound. I longed for the days of being able to shave like a man.

 

As the teenage years began, I watched some of my friends like Otto and Indy begin shaving. My face was not a regular shave job yet and I was sorely disappointed. I would shave what was not there in all directions, hoping it would make the hair grow faster. I wanted to grow sideburns and i wanted a goatee. I wanted all the pleasures of facial hair without realizing the consequences.

 

Finally it grew and didn't stop. I sported a goatee and i grew my first sideburns. I mixed it up for years; fluctuating sideburn length between Luke Perry and Martin Van Buren, growing my Abe Lincoln beard to an Adam's apple hiding length. I tried the full beard and quickly realized I couldn't deal with a mustache. It distracted me too much and my baby sister said I resembled a catfish.

 

I've finally settled on my sideburns being earlobe length and trimmed as I get my haircut. I'll never shave them off unless I need to go undercover as a teenager. The goatee comes and goes, usually to my wife's disappointment. The only thing undecided is the stubble in-between. For Christmas, I received a fancy titanium blade electric razor. I thought this might be easier than using my nifty mach 3. I read in the instructions where it can take a face up to two weeks to adjust to the electric razor. Hmm, wonder what that means?

 

It means your face is not going to like you for a while and I'm back to the mach 3.

 

Do they perform electrolysis for men's faces in specific areas only? It's really quite a hassle to shave as regularly as I should. I could give in and just grow the full beard again but that would require the mustache.  I decided to obtain a small mirror that could allow me to shave while in the shower. It's handheld so I can rinse it off because fogless mirrors work against fog, not steam, and once applied to the shower wall, you cannot easily rinse them off.

 

Thank you for reading about my facial hair dilemma.

Gripe of the day

 

Thanks to my constantly  cold assistant and her flippin' space heater, it's a balmy 80-something degrees in my office. I turn it off every time she leaves the office for more than 10 minutes and yet she keeps turning it back on. Grrr.

 

 

In the daily news...

Wow, no more Phish again.

 

I tend to suffer from stage fright in public places; I can only imagine the difficulties I would experience from this device.

 

Does it bother anyone else that they spelled their daughter's name as Jinger instead of Ginger?

 

Another reason why clowns are evil bastards and should never be trusted.

Top 6 songs for a Crackity Jones type morning

"Crackity Jones" - The Pixies...Song/Word association game: disorganized, harsh, frantic, asskicking, Monday

"Monkey Gone to Heaven" - The Pixies...Black Francis singing "then the Devil is 6, then God is 7". If you know the song, then you know what I am saying.

"Rez" - Underworld...great song when a lot of typing is required (for those of us who don't drop e)

"Protection" - Massive Attack...because this song can chill you out no matter how hyped you are.

"Hazeldub" - Alpha...another Bristol band trying to help me relax.

"Just like my Father" - The Violent Femmes...for all the first album fans, there are other albums, y'know?

University of Batman

A thought struck me during class this morning, did they ever mention if Bruce Wayne went to college? Where did he develop his keen business skills? If they haven't yet, why doesn't someone write about the Bruce Wayne college years and provide a glimpse into his psyche during that time. It might be interesting. Any thoughts on who could write it well?

The Hummingbird's Secret Identity

I’m watching my OOAD Professor closely for hints of her alter ego. I learned last week that she owns a cape and a man names Donovan took it with him to the lake. What I do know about her is that she is around 40 years in age, approximately 5’2”, a mother, also went to DuhVry and sports two visible tattoos; one of a large hummingbird above her left ankle and something undistinguishable on the upper part of her left breast that extends above the collar line of her shirt.

In contemplating the possibilities of her secret identity, I have concluded that she must be one of the following:

A magician’s assistant – Donovan could be the magician and she, his willing to be sawed in half assistant. In this scenario, the mystery cape is definitely a waist-length gold sequin one.

A Superhero – Donovan, her archenemy, stole The Hummingbird’s mystical blue cape during their last encounter. He’s since escaped to his heavily armored lake hideout in southern Missouri. Since the cape fuels her superhuman courage and powers, she is forced to grovel for its return via email.

A Super villain – Perhaps she should be the villain because of her tattoo. No superhero would have such a tasteless tattoo. This tattoo would be better suited on Fredericka J. Dukes, sister to The Blob. It would be like Captain America having a fraternity tattoo on his ankle, just doesn’t work. Superheroes need badass tattoos if they are going to have them. The crappy ones are for villains.

A kinky sexaholic – She’s just wrapped filming her segment of Real Sex 33 with “Donovan” who traveled from his Branson, MO. Lake home to participate in a Kansas orgy. She doesn’t recall her intimate moments with “Donovan”, however by process of elimination, she believes he has her silky red cape.

A witch – Donovan, the Warlock of Bransonia, mistook her velvet black cape for his own as he left the monthly coven meeting.

Whichever she is, and I’m open to suggestions, I’m going to find out. You cannot just find out your college professor has a cape and let it slide. No way!

"Luke, I am your father"

I just discovered something that is still as much as fun as it was in childhood. Talking into a fan.

 

The air conditioner isn't working in my wife's office, so they have a large warehouse fan in there. I could easily have wasted a half-hour saying stupid things into it. Good times!

Two Thoughts for Tuesday

I’m not fully committed to being a conspiracy theorist, but I dabble in it. I found this article on Nick Berg’s beheading yesterday and it seems to make some rather interesting, if not valid points.
Oh, and read the comments between SPYvsSPY and the author, Decon Recon.

Reason #23 why I wish I still worked in downtown Los Angeles. This would have been a helluva lot better than watching the Lakers Championship parade in 2001.

The cat thinks I am an ungrateful jerk

My daughter’s cat now bears presents. I banned the cat from the house last year when he continuously pissed all over the place. He now has his own room off the garage, we leave that, and the garage door cracked every day. He is free to come and go. We’ve even given him permission to bring other kitties, whether boy or girl, we’re not judgmental, back to his pad. He can try and bust his neutered nuts all he wants.

He is either very appreciative of this freedom, or he is trying to bribe his way back into the house. In the past month, he has brought us the head of a mouse, the not-quite-dead bunny (see my Eventful Weekend # 1 post from 05.03.04), a headless squirrel and now a dead mole. He always follows me as I dispose of the dead, looking at me as if offended by my ungrateful actions. It’s this little kitty expression of, “You ungrateful bastard. You work all day and provide me with this luxurious bachelor pad and when I try to show you some friggin’ appreciation…you throw it away.”

Whaddya want to know?

Courtesy of Jeff @ Otto's and Will @ Be the Boy:

*3 Questions

I want everyone and anyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want and I will truthfully answer it. Then, I want you to go to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.*


Fire away, Barbara Walters, try and make me cry...

Findings from the weekend scavenger hunt

This weekend, I found:

1. A college graduation consisting of one sibling and her fiancé
2. A successful Mother’s Day present for the wife
3. A college professor shopping for skimpy lingerie in a department store
4. Someone doing jumping jacks on the side of the road between Des Moines and Kansas City, presumably to wake himself up.
5. A spectacular thunderstorm in Iowa
6. A hotel room with HBO only showing boxing up until the satellite disk lost reception because of the storm.
7. Two great hockey conference playoff games
8. Inspiration to write stories again
9. Myself taking notes in Economics out of boredom.
10. The ending to a great book.

Vizoo

Here's another great site to visit. Ain't technology grand?

Word of the day

Hypertasking. One of my clients just used it in reference to what I was doing. She heard it on the Today show this morning while getting ready. It's a new trend.

The Avalanche lose to Sasser

Sigh, my Colorado Avalanche have blown yet another chance at Lord Stanley's Cup. Perhaps they would have won the game, had I been able to watch or listen to it. I went downstairs to stream the game and what do i find...the fucking sasser virus has plagued both of my computers. by the time i finished clearing it, the game was over.

For those not following the playoffs who might be curious, Tampa Bay vs. Philadelphia for the Eastern Conference and Calgary vs. San Jose for the Western. My picks for the finals are Philadelphia and San Jose, though I'd really like to see Calgary get there.

I have a rule, I cannot support a team located in a city much too warm for hockey. Dallas, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Tampa Bay,etc... HOWEVER, exceptions are made. For example, last year's finals, Anaheim should have won. Why? I hate New Jersey. AND, they kicked ass through the entire playoffs, and not just because of Giguerre.

Eventful Weekend #1

Friday night…my economics class is going to be awesome!!! The professor looks like the kid from D.A.R.Y.L. grown up.

Saturday…object oriented design will be an okay class, despite not being in a Smart Lab. Does it seem odd to anyone else that DeVry has classrooms without computers and/or that they have degree classes in them? I can understand not needing one for a math or English class, but a 3rd level degree class?

The nameless band practiced, or really we went through our four songs. We’ve promised to just work on new material at our next practice. It will be nice having Brandon back full time instead of semi-focusing on his brother’s little punk band. Not that he gave us less attention; it’s a running joke.

After practice, Brandon, I, and our wives went to dinner and the KC Wizards game (Will, insert gay soccer jokes here, especially after you see their logo). One of the local grocery stores gave away tickets to bump attendance for the night, trying to break a record. It was wonderful to see so much white trash show up for the first half. I think they all left at the half when they realized that just because a team plays in the Chiefs’ stadium, it doesn’t mean they play football. Which brings me to my next question that no one has ever answered…why the fuck is American football called football? The foot is only used for punts and field goals. I’ve never understood this.

Sunday…Went to Chillicothe (because everyone knows where that is, right?) for a semi-family reunion. I ate 3 hot dogs and half a brat and visited with cousins I’m not that close to. Actually, I’m not close to any of my cousins.

Sunday night…Sopranos, had to put a bunny out of it’s misery (decided not to post a blog on this because it’s a rather nasty story involving our cat, if you really want to know, email me), and Deadwood. Both shows were superb last night. I just can’t get enough of them.

Oh, and the most important thing that happened this weekend…The Colorado Avalanche made another comeback in OT. Down 3-0 in the series, they’ve brought it up to 3-2.

How is this fair?

I have neither cable nor a flat screen tv. I find this very upsetting.