it was june 12, 1994, 8:14pm. how do i remember that? sometimes having a car collapse around you embeds the date in your head. it was a typical missouri june evening, meaning slightly humid and filled with the sound of a thousand bugs. i took my usual course, cruising along H highway until i reached county highway EE. that small stretch is mostly straight with few trees, proving you with the true feeling of being in the country and the evolving sunset. it also gives you a little break from the winding trail of H highway before you turn onto the more treacherous missouri city road. where missouri city road becomes richfield road, lies the fateful nebo hills road, a classic country hill-jumping road.
as a small child, we drove over many similar hills to reach my grandmother's house. i always loved the sinking feeling in my stomach as we went over each hill. my dad would tell me about the time he and tommy took tom's 65 mustang over those hills, probably going 60mph. i had jumped nebo many times prior to this one, usually around 70mph. i made the left turn and floored it. i was mad at her. mad that the relationship had fizzled. i knew it was over but didn't want to admit it. i was going 95mph in my head and on the road. as i neared the top of the hill and prepared for that whoooosh to sweep through my body, i saw the mini-van crest the hill...driving right in the middle. i cranked the wheel to hug the shoulder and we passed with mere inches between us. enough to send him on his merry way and me over the hill at an angle.
my car slammed into the ditch on the right, which like a pinball paddle ejected my car back into the game and across the road. the tree hit the car right behind me, probably around 80mph. i went into a spin and saw nothing but a whirling blur of blue and green as i heard the roar and crunch of my '85 prelude careening down the hill. then the world stopped. i was alive. i could move. the portable cd player on my lap was gone and the cd that had been inside was stuck in the door like a throwing star, just above my leg.
unfasten. get out. damn it, move! cars explode in the movies!
i crossed the street, leapt over the ditch and ran across the field between the car and the nearest house. answer the door, answer it. please answer it! a young man stood before me asking if i was okay. his golden lab kept licking me and trying to jump up. i used the phone to call my dad. the dog was too much and i thanked the man for the phone, opting to wait by the car instead. i walked up his driveway, which exited near the top of the hill. i saw where my car made its first impact, saw the tree i smacked into. i walked down the hill and a couple from the next house over had come out to see what had transpired. my high school guidance counselor and her husband. two weeks since i graduated.
my dad came shortly thereafter, as did the sheriff and the ambulance. everything checked out but my mother, the nurse, wanted me to get x-rays. it was a silent drive in to town. at the hospital, bruce, the girl, and a friend came to see me. everyone was so serious and i couldn't take it. i was loopy. it should have been over and here i am with a case of whiplash, a slightly bruised hip and a few glass cuts. something had just saved my ass and i was very aware. when my world stopped spinning, i knew I had made a stupid choice that evening.
poor otto did not find out until the next day when he called to go to the concert. we had just bought tickets to see phish at memorial hall. i couldn't turn my head, i walked with a slight limp and had the codeine to make me numb...so i went.
