Did she just say what I think she said?

Yesterday, we talked about the abusive repetition of words that our bosses use. Today, let's share the moronic things co-workers say. Seriously, a co-worker who says, "That dog has boots on" is far more entertaining than the one who says, "Jim, have you seen the latest backorder report." If you have only the latter and not the former in your workplace, I am sorry.  Your day must be horribly dull.

 

I have a co-worker who possesses a unique gift for mangling the English language.  She often says things so incomprehensible, you are left tilting your head like a dog with the "What was that!?!" look on your face.

 

My friend Angela works in the same office and keeps me in the loop. However, Angela has failed to create her own blog to document these, and since she is known for blog-stalking, I am going to post them.  I have copied most of these from  Angela's emails (there's your credit, Ms. Afraid-to-comment).  The last one is mine.

 

• Overheard twice, each time speaking to a prospective employee of our department:"Business cards are really my glitch," Amanda said. "Don't you mean 'niche?'" said prospective employee. "Niche, glitch, what's the difference?" she said. She was serious when she said this. Both. Times.
• Overheard at lunch with an important vendor:"We're taking a tv/vcr on the road with us.  It'll be my only amazing grace on this trip."
• A phone call to an unknown person: "I don't know what I got in my brain, but it lets me do spell check real well."
• On the phone to a customer: "Sorry about all the noise.  My co-workers are in the next cubicle getting it up."
• She once told a co-worker that her husband "ganores" her son. I'm pretty sure she mean "ignores" but I can't be sure.
• She told me that she was behind on my quote because things had been very "tenseful" in her life lately.

Your turn to share.