The other night I put on a pair of shorts and actually had to suck in. I suffered for a few minutes, sat down, stood up and unbuttoned the top button. Ah, much better. I’m not used to this, for years, my biggest problem was not enough holes in the belt. This weighing 150 thing is tough.
The purchasing manager at work tells great stories about her 3 yr old grandson and his penis. My favorite was when this small child kept putting his penis in a trumpet. She told him to stop but he would not, saying only that it felt good.
For her 9th birthday, I’m buying my daughter a button maker. We’re going to make buttons I can wear to work with the following statements:
· My weekend was short and I didn’t get enough rest.
· I’m fine and I know that if I ask you, you will say fine as well.
· If you don’t spell my last name right, I’m not going to get the email, dumbass.
· No, I haven’t had time to do that yet and if you had my job, you wouldn’t have time either.
· If you stop fucking up, my client will stop calling and I’ll have more time to do it.
Those last two go together.
I think that those five buttons should cut out half of the bullshit conversations I have each day.
If you watch a movie/show based on a true story, and then read the book, are you stuck picturing the people as the actors?
I loved my job before I went on vacation and now I hate it.
