I love discussions about socially unacceptable topics. I do show restraint when in public, but hey, this is my blog so if you do not like it, do not read this. If you do have something to contribute, please post it in the comments.
I am observant of other people's behavior in the restroom and no, I am not a meat gazer. I pay attention to who talks, whistles, hums, etc while they piss. It is hard not to notice the "Look ma, no hands!!!" pisser, or the grown man who drops his pants down to his ankles like a little boy.
I am also observant of who is paying attention to me. Unfortunately, that is a heightened sense that comes with a little problem I have, paranoia. I am not afraid to admit that I suffer from Stage Fright. I once waited in a line for 30 minutes only to get in, find the dreaded trough and walk out, only to hold that beer piss in for another hour. I am the person who will wait for a stall to open up. Urinals are acceptable only under the following conditions: I am alone or with a friend/relative, there are dividers between the urinals (the bigger the better).
Total strangers need not make conversation in the restroom; we are not girls looking to chat while we take care of business.
This leads us away from pissing and onto business that is more serious. We have all heard horror stories of people on cell phones and some unknowing victim thinks they were involved in a conversation. Poor fools. Have you ever had a CEO/Owner start up a conversation while on the crapper? Mortifying. I was once sucked into a business conversation during which time, the owner proceeded to chip away at the porcelain with his sonic-fired, ass-ripping, nose-burning farts.
"So, Jeff, do you think we have a chance <BRAAAAAAK!!!!> to get them on for their <ZZEEEOOOWW!!!> menus?"
"Well, Tom, that would be nice." (But not nearly as nice as you shutting up and not talking to me.)
Then, from the other stall, grunts, plops and sighs, "That would be great. We should really get down there to visit them again."
Wipe your ass and wash your hands, damnit!!!
During an observing session this morning, a coworker came in and did his business, then, without wiping, got up, flushed and left without washing his hands. How frequently do you have a shit that does not even require an obligatory wipe to make sure your ass is clean? Call me anal-retentive, but i will use a roll and flush 40 times to ensure it is clean. Give me a bidet; I do not care. I am not going to walk around with shit on my ass for the rest of the day.
